It was quite a year! Can’t say it was life changing in the sense of my career or in my personal life, but mentally, it’s the first year I have felt the most confident in experiencing things by myself just for the sake of it. Never have I gone to more concerts or talk show tapings alone in one year and had the best time just living in the moment, meeting new people, and getting the change to see glimpses of where I dream of being one day. In that itself, it was a game changer.
Taking a quick look back, I officially went to eleven tv show tapings, eight concerts, three bachelor runs in Central Park, two Peter Kraus fitness bootcamps, two book signings, one Netflix screening, one Jonas Brothers Q&A discussion, and one Marvelous Mrs. Maisel premiere. I’ve counted my event attendances for the last couple of years for my own personal curiosity, and each time I do, it always amazes me to see how high the numbers get when in real time, they never feels like that many. In the moment, I’m always thinking “oh I’m just gonna go to this thing or that show and if no one wants to come it’s fine I’ll just go alone”. But to know I have willingly put myself out there like that twenty-nine times in this year alone (I repeat, twenty-nine!!!) honestly has me SHOOK because when I think back to only a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t be caught dead going anywhere alone because I cared too much of what others thought of me and how I looked to them on the outside, let alone what I would do with myself if no one was with me to talk to. I mean who wants to be that person at the party?
Perfect example, this was the first time in my life I had to courage to go to a concert by myself. Correction, go to TWO concerts by myself. One being Maren Morris back in March at Terminal 5 and the other being the Jonas Brothers this past November at the Barclay’s Center. Don’t get me wrong, walking up to both those venues I was petrified as I knew I would see groups of friends together all excited for the concerts, but they were two performances I really wanted to experience and I felt that if I could get over the initial fear of being alone prior to the performances, than it would be worth it because I would get to have the memory of being there, and boy was I right! I got to scream the lyrics of each song I loved and danced like I was the only one in the room all while being confident in myself for even going in the first place. I left the concerts with a feeling of accomplishment and pride I never knew I had. And on top of that, while waiting for the concerts to begin, I got over my fear enough to talk to those around me and connect with some people that I am still in touch with today and I am sure I wouldn’t have spoken to if I had a plus one by my side.
Same goes for some of the talk shows I went to this year; I went to two Live! With Kelly and Ryan tapings and two GMA tapings by myself, and both times I did, I made connections that most likely wouldn’t have happened if I brought someone with me to entertain me until the show began. Whether it was with the hosts on screen or the workers behind the camera, I was able to open my heart to the possibility of what could happen just by putting myself out there and connecting with those around me. As I see it, the connections and memories I made were worth overriding the fear of “looking bad” in front of everyone around me.
Actually, If I truly take a hot sec to look back, I could apply this to every event I went to in 2019:
*The bachelor runs with recent contestant Tyler Cameron, where I was able to connect with him and his friend Matt about their nonprofit, ABC Food Tours.
*The book signing with Jenna Dewan where I got a message from her that I have received in the past, but was brought to light again in a time I needed to hear it most.
*The two fitness bootcamps with Peter Kraus where I had the opportunity to connect with him long enough to now have him remember me by name and face.
*The Maisel premiere where I had enough balls to go up to Rachel Brosnahan while she was standing with some pretty high executives to tell her how much I love her and her show and for it to be appreciated back.
… and the list goes on! But to sum it all up, this year has truly been a year of growing and learning how to be ok with being perfectly imperfect. It’s something I am still overcoming, but thank you 2019 for being a huge stepping stone in the right direction. I can’t wait to take what you taught me into the new year and see what’s in store. I just have a good feeling about this one, so stay tuned for what’s to come and 2020, LET’S SLAY THIS THING!
xx,
DanaBlair
